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Friday, October 22,
2004 The multitalented host of Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor has been working on a collection of erotic short stories that he plans on publishing under the title The Sit and Spin Zone: Caribbean Vacation. "I want everyone to know that I am a man of many interests. I have other aspects to my life other than being a journalist. I am more than a Compassionate Conservative. I am a Passionate Conservative," said O'Reilly in an appearance on CNN's Crossfire. Several excerpts have been released by O'Reilly's publisher and speak to a sultry writing style reminiscent of Anais Nin or the subtle elegance of some of Anne Rice's erotica: "...So anyway, I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind... and then I would take the other hand with a falafel and I'd smear hummus all over your pussy, but I'd do it real light, just kind of a tease business..." Another excerpt explored issues of forbidden sexuality and polymorphist lust: "...I was getting a massage in Bali and the little short brown woman asked to see my penis. She was amazed. Then Al Franken walks in. He drops his robe and winks at me. I see he is hiding something behind his back. He begins kissing the girl, and turns his back to me to reveal an object shaped like a cock with a little battery in it. Al Franken was about to put me in traction..." According to O'Reilly it is good to have a little fantasy outlet. In addition to his new writing career, O'Reilly has also taken on the task of starting a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating people on how to improve their love lives. "I often advise women to purchase vibrators, then I teach them how to masturbate. It's a great way to blow off steam. One woman had her first orgasm on the phone while I was coaching her. I feel like I am never too busy to help friends and coworkers. I guess I have always been a closet feminist. I will do anything to help a woman. Men can be such pigs sometimes. If I can be the one guy in their life that doesn't use his post ion or status to take advantage of them, then I have made the world a better place." Bill O'Reilly's first foray into fiction will sell in a limited hardback edition for $59.99 at Walmart stores other major bookstores worldwide. More of his fiction can be read at The Smoking Gun.
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