Friday, April 1, 2005

Tom DeLay Hospitalized with Acute Irony

Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas) was rushed to a local Washington D.C. hospital to undergo emergency surgery to his skeletal system. The representative was stricken with a case of Dramatic Irony when it was learned that in 1988 his father had had his feeding tube removed with his consent and been allowed to die after being in a similiar vegetative state as Terry Schiavo, the woman who's life DeLay was trying to prolong despite the wishes of her husband.

The doctor's operating on DeLay opted to go with the more invasive procedure of skeletal surgery to remove the skeleton from his closet. A further surgery may be needed to correct his last name, which was so riddled with irony due to its similiarity to the word "delay" that doctors reportedly cannot repair it and must remove the name entirely. An unlikely last name donor Tom Waits was ruled out as not a good match late last night.

- Clark Brandon

Click here to tell a friend about this article!

 

Kobe Beef Injections - Consent optional