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            <div align="left"><font size="2" face="arial" color="#FFFFFF">Monday, 
              July 1, 2002<b><br>
              <br>
              </b></font><font face="arial" class="headlines" color="#FFFFFF">US 
              Goalie blames God for World Cup loss</font></div>
            <p align="left"><font color="#FFFFFF">Just a week after getting their 
              hopes for the World Cup shattered by a lone German goal, Goalie 
              Brad Friedel blamed God for the disappointing outcome.</font>
            <p>&quot;God had blessed us up until that point. Nobody in the world 
              thought that we could make it this far. Many other countries consider 
              us a joke and also feel that since our country still does not give 
              a rat's ass about soccer, we didn't deserve to win. We were hoping 
              that by winning the cup the sport would gain more respect in our 
              country. God just didn't come through.&quot;</p>
            <p>The US had made it the quarters with their best showing since 1930. 
              They beat Mexico in a thrilling 2-0 match only to be defeated by 
              the Germans in a match that only amounted to one goal.</p>
            <p>The US started the second half strong, but still could not muster 
              up any kind of score.</p>
            <p>&quot;They seemed to be relying on Donovan too much. I've heard 
              many say that he could have played smarter. None of the critics 
              seem to be pointing the finger at God though. He just didn't show 
              up,&quot; said sports analyst George Knowles of the Washington Post.</p>
            <p>&quot;We thought we could count on the Lord to show up ready to 
              bless in the second half. A group of us even kneeled to pray during 
              the break, but nothing. Not even one simple goal. I'm chalking this 
              one up to Him. Did I go to 14 years of Sunday school just for this, 
              for Him to let us down?&quot; Friedel asked.</p>
            <p>Many athletes thank God for their performances and for the blessing 
              to be winners. This marks the first time that a player has blamed 
              God for a loss.</p>
            <p>&quot;This reminds me of the time I prayed for snow. I prayed night 
              and day. Not one flake. I have lost all faith. Where do I turn now?&quot;</p>
            <p>Spokesmen for God had no comment on this accusation.</p>
            <p>In related news, Jesus was spotted wearing a Brazil team jersey 
              just before Brazil's triumphant win over Germany.</p>
            <p><i><font size="2">-Jehovah</font></i></p>
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