the Wired Press > Archives > Obituaries

MISHAKWA, Kentucky - The lately reclusive Autobot leader that once proudly led time honored war heroes such as Bumblebee and Rawhide into battle, was found dead in his trailer in the western Kentucky town of Mishakwa. Prime apparently suffered a heart attack early Thursday morning in his sleep. Mr. Prime is survived by his protégé Rodimus Prime and his human godson Chip.

We'll miss you

Optimus Prime or "Opie" as he was called by his close friends, had been battling a drug and alcohol addiction for years and more recently suffered from obesity and male pattern baldness. After his TV series was cancelled, he slipped into a deep depression and hermit-like existence. Prime appeared once and awhile at Sci-Fi conventions and did an occasional voice-over job. His one-time costar Megatron, who now owns a used car lot in Van Nuys California, released a statement early Friday.

"Optimus was a great bot. Off camera we were very close. A lot of people don't realize that he came up with the phrase 'roll out!' one day during filming. It just kind of stuck. We'll all miss him dearly."

*after many emails regarding Mr. Prime, it has been brought to our attention that Optimus would have been at least a couple million years old, not 567 as originally stated. Orion Pax, who later became Opie, was at least 4,000,000 years old according to official birth records. We could not find the actual date of his creation however. We deeply regret any inconvenience or sadness that we have caused by this horrible error. We would like to ask that all Optimus groupies please accept this apology, as it comes from our hearts. Thank you.