NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – As lawmakers in New York clashed over legalizing gay marriage, a new study revealed that well over seventy percent of existing marriages may already be gay.
The study, conducted by Dr. Davis Logsdon of the Marital Behavior Institute at the University of Minnesota, confirmed what many social scientists have long suspected: that within the first five years of marriages, most men become, for all intents and purposes, gay.
“Soon after marrying, most men stop hitting on women and start shopping for furniture,” Dr. Logsdon said. “Scientifically speaking, how gay is that?”
Within ten years of marriage, he added, a significant number of married men stop having sex with women altogether.
“There’s only one way to describe someone who does not have sex with women, does not hit on women, and spends his free time shopping for furniture,” he said. “That word, to be scientific about it, is gay.”
Elsewhere, by a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court asked Kagan, Ginsburg and Sotomayor to make them coffee.
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SEE ANDY BOROWITZ’S FREE SHOW IN CENTRAL PARK JUNE 28
Source: 70% of Existing Marriages May Already Be Gay.
News Tags: conducted, legalizing, university, clashed, sex with women
I think married men look for women they think would be willing to do this.
I am Christian that is not for gay marriage or abortion. But I have no doubt that I likely still have sinful views on some things and so do you. It seems your anger here might just be one of yours. Maybe focus a little more on your own struggle with sin before you condemn the rest of the world for theirs.
Do you mean right outside CP? Because CP is HUGE!!
I know there are a couple of restaurants more nearby the lake in Central Park. IF I see anything like that I'll let you know....bout to take another trip there myself shortly. I'm only 1.5 hrs./express train.....so try to go several times a yr. good luck!!
Have you been to Tavern on the Green? went there a few yrs. ago.....awesome place to eat~gorgeous too (hope it's still there!)
The full moon indicates impending danger from lion attack, a University of Minnesota study shows -
Hi, I just came across your blog while searching for Dr Davis. My two children are patients of him as well, and we adore him!! I just learned today while at Crofton Peds about his son, Miles. My heart goes out to the Davis family. Dr Davis is such a wonderful man. He speaks of his sons often and with such pride. So I am right there with you praying!
With the Supreme Court's decision in Ricci v. DeStefano this week, we now can report that Sonia Sotomayor even is crazier than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.