WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Just minutes after Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) held a press conference to admit his culpability in the scandal involving pictures of his penis sent via Twitter, thousands of women claiming to have received such photos took to the streets of the nation’s capital to demand reparations.
Traffic snarled for miles around the Capitol building as the streets filled with the penis-photo recipients, whom police sources said ranged in age from 21 to 22.
While there was no official count of the marchers, Fox News estimated the size of the crowd at twenty million while MSNBC said the number was closer to fourteen.
But with the number of women traumatized by Rep. Weiner’s penis growing by the hour, Beltway insiders worried that if the women’s demands for reparations prove successful the Federal debt ceiling might have to be raised by another ten trillion.
“Just when we’re trying to fix the budget, one big dick comes along and wrecks everything,” one congressional aide said.
Mandy Pantella, 21, a cheerleader at the University of Northern South Florida, said she joined the protest after receiving as many as twenty unwanted photos of Rep. Weiner’s penis per day: “I got more spam from his penis than I do from Apple.”
As for Mr. Weiner’s performance at today’s press conference, Ms. Pantella was noncommittal: “It’s tough to know what he was really thinking because he was standing behind a podium.”
Get the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox for free here.
Source: Women Who Received Pictures of Weiner’s Penis March on Washington.
Tags: just, penis, federal debt ceilingWired cock, peins pics
100% true. Fox News Channel beats CNN and MSNBC combined. Fox has more Republican, Independent, AND DEMOCRATIC viewers than all of cable news. it is truly Fair & Balanced. did you know that Fox's lowest-rated show is STILL higher than all the shows on the other networks?
Ratings Surge At Fox News Under Obama Administration
to all those who give me thumbs down: you are afraid of the truth. the statistics don't lie and you are in denial!!
Via rel="nofollow" Women Who Received Pictures of Weiner’s Penis March on Washington |
PICKET: Fox News Channel Twitter account hacked with fake reports of Obama's death - Washington Times (blog)
Maybe beccause it wasn't an important press conference. I'm an Obama supporter and I didn't watch it either.
I only watch the major press conferences from President Obama.
It's her fetish/fantasy. Indulge her even to the point of hiring a big dick for a night.
He already had his last press conference and he should have said that but he is too classy for that.
Washington DC
It’s not like we don’t try to warn people. Media Matters has been fundamentally clear and consistent about this point: Do not trust Andrew Breitbart. Period. Yet journalists keep making that same mistake over and over. The latest was the New York Times, and now the paper’s collecting the lumps to show for it. Last week the daily published a rather puffy profile of the right-wing writer. As Media Matters quickly noted, the Times article include a key error; an error that came about when the newspaper trusted that Breitbart was telling the truth about his Shirley Sherrod debacle Breitbart was not. Late last week the Times corrected its Breitbart-fed Sherrod error. But there's an important point that blogger Brad Friedman highlighted last night. In publishing its correction, and specifically how an NAACP audience responded to a tale Sherrod told, the Times amendment conceded that Breitbart misled the paper. But if you now read the body of the story that’s been changed to reflect the...
Brent Budowsky: March on Washington for Jobs -