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The Onion

The Onion
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The Onion

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The Onion

12

News Report on Wartime Atrocity Even More Powerful for Its Brevity

By | Published: February 20, 2012
KHAWHEABAD, AFGHANISTAN—A 300-word article describing a nighttime attack on civilians that was carried out using white phosphorous charges and bayonets was given additional impact and emotional resonance by virtue of its brevity, sources close...
8

Son of Edward R. Murrow Says Father 'Real Dirtbag' Compared to Onion Reporters

By | Published: February 19, 2012
SAN FRANCISCO—In an exclusive interview Tuesday, Internet executive Paul Murrow admitted that his revered journalist father, Edward R. Murrow, was a real dirtbag and a huge piece of garbage compared to the brave and tireless reporters at The...
9

Investigation Finds Man Wrongfully Imprisoned for 3 of 76 Murders

By | Published: February 13, 2012
POTOSI, MO—Almost two decades after Michael Hollings was put on death row for the murders of 76 men, women, and children across Missouri, evidence uncovered by an exclusive Onion investigation has exonerated him of three of the brutal slayings,...
9

Angela Merkel Opens Up to the Only Newspaper She Trusts

By | Published: February 3, 2012
BERLIN—German chancellor Angela Merkel once again gave an exclusive interview to The Onion Tuesday, stating that the publication's undying commitment to journalistic excellence makes it the only newspaper she trusts. "What I like about your...