BERLIN—German chancellor Angela Merkel once again gave an exclusive interview to The Onion Tuesday, stating that the publication's undying commitment to journalistic excellence makes it the only newspaper she trusts. "What I like about your organization—no, what I admire and respect about it—is that while The Onion is unerringly fair, it also never lets me off the hook and always holds me accountable for my actions," said Merkel, who then launched, unprompted, into an extended tirade against the Pulitzer Board, referring to its members as "hack journalists" and "scum-sucking sycophants" to whom she would never give the time of day. "Whenever I do interviews for other publications, I feel embarrassed for them. It must be awful, because they know that no matter how hard they work, they won't ever come close to what The Onion has achieved. You call yourselves America's Finest News Source. I would go one step further. I would say you are the World's Finest News Source." Merkel spent the next few hours speaking off the record about financial reform, explaining that she was desperate for the kind of clear-eyed, expert advice she could only receive from Onion reporters.
Source: Angela Merkel Opens Up To The Only Newspaper She Trusts.
Tags: extended tirade, Angela Merkel, interview, undying commitment, financial reform, time of day, again
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This is so funny-- lots of YA writer's are having conversations right now in the vein (wait for it) of vampires (insert rim-shot) are the new black, no, werewolves are-- no, werewolves are over-- it's zombies!
On that note-- I'm looking for feedback on my query pitch over on my blog. I say ghosts are the new black! -- Dennis? Any expert advice? Anyone else? (be kind, but honest)
And-- should I make myself wait until Jan to query?? Help!
Females Don't Know What They Want They Say They Want A Good Guy But Won't Give The Nigga The Time Of Day That's Why Their Relationships Fail -
I don't actually know about q basic, but this 'might' help:
CLS
PRINT "WELCOME TO KAUN BANEGA COROREPATHI"
PRINT "HERE ARE THE RULES"
PRINT "THERE ARE 10 QUESTIONS AND 3 LIFELINES"
PRINT "FIRST QUESTION FOR RS 5000"
PRINT "WHICH IS THE FORMULA 1 TEAM THAT SUKS THE MOST"
PRINT "OPTIONS : 1 REDBULL 2 WILLAMS 3 LOTUS 4 VIRGIN 5 LIFELINE"
PRINT "ENTER YOUR ANSWER"
INPUT OPTIONS
IF OPTIONS = 1 THEN PRINT "CONGRAGULATIONS"
IF OPTIONS = 2 THEN PRINT "SORRY START ALL OVER AGAIN"
IF OPTIONS = 3 THEN PRINT "SORRY START ALL OVER AGAIN"
IF OPTIONS = 4 THEN PRINT "SORRY START ALL OVER AGAIN"
IF OPTIONS = 5 THEN {
PRINT "CHOOSE YOUR LIFELINE"
CLS
PRINT "1 AUDIENCE VOTE"
PRINT "2 EXPERT ADVICE"
INPUT OPTIONS
SELECT CASE OPTIONS
CASE 1
PRINT "AUDIENCE VOTE"
PRINT "RESULTS ARE 1 45% , 2 43%, 3 23% 4 10%"
CASE 2
PRINT "EXPERT HAS ADVISED OPTION 1"
END SELECT
}
Big fan of the Onion, loved "Our Dumb World" . I read it on vacation a few months ago and was laughing my ass off. Have you read their "Our Front Pages-21 Years of Greatness, Virtue, and Moral Rectitude From America's Finest News Source" which of course is themselves?
On to Fr. Guido Sarducci. As a kid, I patiently waited through all the skits until Weekend Update came on so I could see him. Never heard of the Lazlo Letters series so I am definitely going to start my search for the books. Loved the last sketch with Colbert and him. Good to see him again.
Definitely seems as though you've inherited your father's sensibilities. My dad had an affinity for terrible jokes, for puns which made me cringe to no end as a kid. We always rolled our eyes and said "Dad, you are sooo corny" and his response would be "If I am corny, then you are the Children of The Corn". That was my day to day existence.
Thanks for this great post which made me smile from ear to ear as I try to embrace the funny and the absurd very day. I write a blog [...]
I think it's important to watch/read news sources that are both extremely conservative and extremely liberal if for no other reason than to know what the other side is thinking.
That being said, I don't think you can call Fox anymore "fair and balanced" than MSNBC or say that the "spin stops" there. If I can identify the political leanings of the source, it's not unbiased.
Truly, America's finest news source.
I don't know if I should laugh or cry at the ridiculousness that is American politics.
Pretty similar sadly. It also comes like 3rd class so you get it a few weeks later.
It's only about 4 pages Onion and the rest from whatever city you get it out of. My sub was out of Madison.
I was such a follower I didnt mind getting the paper version too.
You might get him 'our dumb century' instead. Its fake front pages of the onion from 1900-2000. It's jawdroppingly briliant.
Or you could get a boxed set of the other compendiums. I found one for my cousin and one for my friend a few years ago for $18 new.
Onion also has some funny merchandise now too.
And the Jon Stewart America book is a few years old, but has the same sense of humor, as well as many similar writers.
You might look at McSweeneys too. It's a lot, lot, lot more literary and high-brow, but they do up the quarterlies in many different cool ways and the topics are always very unusual. It's like NPR but arty and much cooler.
LOUISVILLE, KY--(Marketwire - Aug 1, 2011) - The COGNISIONT System, a new cognitive testing device from Neuronetrix, was featured recently in a two minute television feed by International Business Times from the Alzheimer's Association International Conference 2011 (AAIC 2011), held July 16-21 in Paris, France. The video [CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO] covered selected highlights from AAIC 2011, and included excerpts from an interview with French President Nicolas Sarkozy, the featured speaker at the conference focused on Alzheimer's disease.